Reassessment

So, I’ve been thinking a lot about what I am going to do for the next 5-10 years of my life and I’m starting to think that perhaps I am making a bad decision. I feel kind of like I am just settling or going the easy way. I mean, why shouldn’t I work my ass of and apply to Stanford Med? Harvard Med? Or Yale Med?

Why am I settling with a career as a lowly Physician Assistant? Is it what I really want? I really can’t tell what I want right now. I have a really great boyfriend who seems to be in it for the long haul (for now at least, you never know what is going to happen in the future). I want to do the whole family thing and I feel like PA is perfect for that. I want to work a 40 hour week and not be on call all the time and be able to cook my family dinner every night and take my kids to soccer practice and stuff. I want to be able to support them, too, though, and I have this weird mental hang up that if I’m not a doctor or a lawyer or an engineer I’m not going to be able to do that. I want to have a beautiful house with a big yard and a dog and the whole nine yards. And I’m kind of scared that I won’t be able to have that if I don’t make more sacrifices and go to medical school or marry a doctor or something. Is that weird? Am I just being crazy?

I don’t know what to do with my life. I wish someone could just tell me what to do. Like when I was little.